HOW TO TURN YOUR KIDS' MISTAKES INTO PRESCIOUS MEMORIES IN 13 SMART STEPS

HOW TO EXECUTE 'MISSION: MEMORIES-IN-THE-MAKING'

Oh no! What was that?

Waiting …

Then …

Mommyyyyyy!

Jip! Here we go again! What’s it gonna be this time!?

Not quite sure whether you should run or breathe first, your legs automatically start the same-old-same-old procedure: RUN!

Somewhere between the kitchen counter and your kid’s room, a fierce battle rages on the inside … Stress hormones overflow your body — followed by fear that you might see your toddler covered in blood — driven by frustration due to the, what, the thousandth time this week? — and panic-licking anxiety about your little one’s health.

At last, the longest-ever 5-second adrenaline-driven sprint comes to a stop in his room.

Oh no! His face is blue…

So is his once-upon-a-time-red hair.

And his bed. His new T-shirt. The carpet.

And the wall. And the curtains. Yip, the bed lamp too.

Look, Mommy!

Big smile.

Very proud of his latest blue masterpiece.

As you open your mouth, your nose suddenly objects against the horrible smell wafting from the kitchen. Oh no! The bacon just died and was immediately cremated right there, on the stove …

* * *

You need some grace right now. A lot, as a matter of fact. So, let’s freeze the scene right here.

Come, we’ll go and sit somewhere. Just you and I. You need to breathe …

You didn’t expect raising kids to be so challenging, did you?

Here you are, right in the middle of one of the most exhausting (yet exciting), frightening (yet rewarding), fabulous, spectacular, incredible, amazing, and unbelievable years of your life.

It’s not gonna last forever. It’s all going to be over sooner than you can imagine.

Therefore, get up! Prepare for battle! Start with Mission-Memories-in-the-Making! Raise your beautiful kids to be winners in life! And soon we’ll celebrate your victory.

Ready?

This is how you can do it:

PREPARE FOR BATTLE

1) Use the eye-ball roll

Surely, by now, you have learned that parents have to do quite a few eye-ball-rolls in their lifetime, right?

Well, here’s one that will do the trick.

We find it in Psalm 121 in the Bible (The Message):

I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains? No, my strength comes from God, who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

And kids. Your kids.

Without God’s help, you’ll have an even harder battle to fight. He entrusted you with your kids. If you trust Him, He’ll give you all the help and wisdom you need to raise His kids the best you can.

2) Choose well what you are willing to live with forever

You have the power of choice. ALWAYS.

But … it’s NOT about choosing your behaviour first. It’s about identifying the consequences of your decisions.

Every decision comes with its own set of costs.

It works like this: when you choose poorly, you suffer and blame life, circumstances, your kids, and even the bacon for not knowing better than to burn. When you choose wisely, things turn out well and you celebrate and boast about your cleverness.

Easy pick, isn’t it?

Ask yourself — what will the consequences of THIS choice be? Are you willing to live with those consequences, knowing that they are a result of your own choices?

3) For the record … How old are you?

Oh yes.

So that means you’re the grown-up here; they’re the kids.

You might agree with me that one of the hardest things for any young parent is to refuse to shrink back into their little immaturity shoes when tension arises and to do what comes easily and naturally.

I know, in the heat of the moment, it is the easiest thing to do! Just act like you’re four again and shoot from the hip: yell, scream, smash the doors, curse, do whatever will relieve the tension — that is, YOUR tension.

While in the process you successfully raise THEIR tension.

4) Imagine watching your kids doing to your grand kids what you’re gonna do next

Take a step into the future. You’re seventy-something, watching your grand kids paint themselves and the world around them with blue paint.

Instantly you recall this day.

Then SHE steps in — Mommy-on-the-brink-of-an-explosion.

And she explodes. She yells. She grabs the little one’s arm and pushes her around. She l-o-o-s-e-s it.

Totally.

Did she really have to do that? No! She didn’t have to.

You see the teary scared eyes confused by why the blue-painting-love-gift was received in this manner. Your heart breaks.

Now back to the moment at hand: this is your life, your choice. How are you gonna deal with it? Because years from now both you and your kids will remember these trying times …

5) Write the scripts for their last good-byes at your deathbed

Now take a moment to fast forward from the last scene where you watched your grand kid to your deathbed.

Ask yourself this simple question:

What will your kids remember most about you — how they feared you for your ability to deal with their mistakes, or how they adored you for the wonderful memories you created with them?

You can write that script today, tonight, and every day after.

Now it’s time to carefully put together your future battle plan: Mission-Memories-in-the-Making!

EXECUTE THE BATTLE PLAN: Mission-Memories-in-the-Making

6) Permit yourself to explode

Yes, you heard me correctly. Explode! Explode with all the right stuff!

Find the humour at the moment.

Laugh, laugh, laugh.

I know (been there, done that, got the T-shirt!) it is easier said than done. However, it starts with a decision. You can choose to create memorable memories that will last a lifetime — or you don’t.

Putting yourself in those little shoes (with permission this time) — what would make you a better person afterwards — fear, shame, curses, or a super-painful smack on the bud?

Or maybe to be rewarded with a hug, the chance to explain what you’ve done, the opportunity to learn how to get paint out of your hair, and a beautiful (blue) picture on the wall?

What will it be like to relive those memories when you are older, to hysterically laugh as you retell the story to your grandkids, and finally feel the warm kiss on your head when your children come and say goodbye forever?

7) Take a look at your watch

It’s now-o’clock!

You only have one NOW-moment at a time.

Make the most of it.

You can’t have it over again.

Finding the opportunity in every now-moment takes skill. There is one, I promise you. A beautiful one too.

Sure, you can wish your kids were still small, sleeping all day long, doing nothing wrong. Or perhaps even wish that they were big and grown so you could be at ease.

But what about NOW? The most special and precious moment of both your and their lives.

What is the opportunity of this moment? Is it something to discover … learn … become aware of?

Today everything is blue, burnt, and stinks of burnt bacon and it is the most amazing time of your life because right now you can build mesmerizing memories that will last forever.

8) Teach ’em a lesson they’ll never forget. And love it.

Have you ever read the true story about spilt milk told by a famous research scientist?

The reason for his successful research was how his mother handled the mess he made as a toddler when he spilt milk on the floor in the kitchen.

Instead of yelling, lecturing, or punishing him, she turned it into an opportunity to build a beautiful memory. After investigating the puddle, playing in it, and having tons of fun together, they cleaned it up.

That changed his life!

He learned not to feel ashamed for making mistakes. Neither to fear making some. Nor that he’ll be punished for making them. He also learned there were plenty of opportunities to learn from every mistake.

A spanking? It will never have the same power. Your kids may remember it, but not with fond memories like the scientist.

9) Bootcamp Coming Up!

During Bootcamp, new soldiers learn the basics to become very good at the needed skills in a short period.

Your kids need to learn the basics too. Of life. They weren’t born knowing everything.

In the story about spilt milk, his mom didn’t need to send the little boy to the army. She set up her own Bootcamp Program and so can you.

Turn it into an opportunity to teach your little ones how to plan, solve problems, and think about consequences.

For instance, turn the research about how to remove blue paint from red hair into a fun activity.

Even the struggle of cleaning blue paint off a carpet and seeing the marks that remain can make a memorable moment for him (as you keep in mind that the way you handle these situations can also leave a mark on their lives).

10) Keep the Emotional First-Aid Kit close by

Your kids’ emotions are very fragile, and often your poor choices will damage those delicate emotions.

Damaged emotions lead to broken lives. Broken lives lead to poor choices, bad relationships, low self-esteem, and many other problems.

Little hearts can break very easily. So, keep that Emotional First Aid Kit close at hand! (Read HOW TO HEAL LITTLE BROKEN HEARTS AND KEEP THEM WHOLE here.)

11) Hand over the GPS in little messy hands

If you give someone a fish, they will ask for food again tomorrow. Teach them how to fish and they will be responsible for stilling their hunger tomorrow.

Likewise, teach your kids how the GPS of life works — life is full of choices; every choice has consequences and you need to live with those consequences; make the most of every opportunity; learn to laugh at mistakes; make the most of every now-moment and maintain your emotions.

Also, teach them how to life live safely.

If your toddler climbs the tree, you can either freak-out or teach him how to do so safely. If your kid goes near an outdoor swimming pool, you can either freak-out or teach him how to swim.

CELEBRATE THE VICTORY

12) Pop the bottle and light the candles!

Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not advocating covering up or ignoring your kids’ mistakes and messes.

I’m advocating going the full length, making sure the memories you leave behind are memorable ones.

You can celebrate the beautiful blue creation. Display on the fridge. Tell and show Daddy tonight.

But more importantly, learn to celebrate the lessons learned. Share with Daddy what your little one has learned today, how you turned his blue hair back to red, and how he helped clean up the mess.

And how he promised he wouldn’t paint on top of his bed ever again!

13) Make it stick

Your first step should be to keep the memories in your heart. You may even have to write them down, as you’ll forget them soon.

Your second step should be to make the memories stick in your kid’s heart too. You can create a scrapbook and revisit those photos and videos from time to time.

Your third step should be to practice those newly acquired skills regularly.

And lastly, you can turn this day into a variety of bedtime stories filled with countless life lessons and beautiful memories.

* * *

Would it be ok if we unfroze the cremated bacon-scented blue scene now?

The stench is still strong.

Everything is still blue.

And you still have the power of choice…

I want to remind you, that a couple of years from now, you won’t hear any sudden, screams or noises that will send chills down your spine.

You won’t see your kid’s room, face, or hair change colour unexpectedly.

You won’t see any pictures on the fridge, and there won’t be any more eye rolls to make, or stories to share.

By then they’ll have grown up and live their own lives with their own little eye-roll-causers.

You might be lucky enough to still have the deep scratch on the coffee table to remind you of THAT day. And a photo in the album.

And silence. And loneliness.

That’s life.

Today you have learned to create mesmerizing memories!

You have learned to prepare for battle!

You have learned to execute Mission-Memories-in-the-Making.

Now, take a deep breath, go and bury that deceased bacon, and clean up your blue child!

Until next time, happy parenting!

Love

STEF ESPAG

Never forget that you are destined for greatness!

* * *

PS — Learning is an ongoing process. I have written a book (How courageous parents raise emotionally healthy kids) that will guide you through the process. You can check it out at THIS LINK.

PSS — I have also developed an online course (Get Ready! Baby is coming!) for new and young parents to guide them on the most exciting, yet exhausting experience of their life! You can check it out HERE

PSSS — If you found this article helpful, please be so kind as to subscribe, comment, and share it on your social media too! That way more people will be able to hear the truth that will set them free to live a life of victory!

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