7 TIPS TO RAISE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY KIDS
STOP REPEATING YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES!
He was only 8 years old.
Broken. Sad. Confused. Angry.
His parents’ broken relationship was breaking him. They brought him to me for counselling, hoping I could fix him.
He cried. He wanted his mommy and daddy to be happy again. But they weren’t. They were hurting one another and they were hurting him.
Chances are good you understand exactly what this little guy was going through. You may have also experienced that kind of brokenness.
Yours might have been even more horrible. I bet you wanted your childhood to be happy and filled with laughter. But it wasn’t.
And now you fear repeating the mistakes your parents had made. You don’t want to hurt your kids the way your parents hurt you.
But you doubt whether it is possible. Because where ever we go, we find broken people … broken marriages … broken parent-child relationships.
You want to do it right … right?
You can. Let me show you where to start:
1. FAST FORWARD TO YOUR FUNERAL, THEN PLAN WITH THE END IN MIND
Painful childhood memories often leave children loaded with bitterness at their parents’ funerals. It can be different if parents plan their parental journey with the end in mind.The best time to start planning your journey is before you have children. That’s when you decide what kind of parent you will be and what parenting style you will adopt.
Picture your funeral. What would you have your kids say about you and the way you raised them?
2. QUIT DECORATING THE BABY’S ROOM UNTIL YOU’VE DONE THE IMPORTANT STUFF FIRST
The majority of new parents spend nine months dreaming up baby names and buying baby clothes. In the process, they neglect the most important things.
Put first things first! Get yourself ready before all else. To make a difference, you need to be different. Prepare — spiritually, mentally, and emotionally — for the challenging journey ahead.
Before a plane takes off, air hostesses remind mothers to attend to themselves first; then they can attend to their kids. The reason is obvious, isn’t it?
3. DON’T GET TOO COMFY WITH NOT KNOWING
What parents don’t know can actually kill or harm their kids — physically and emotionally! Ignorance is very dangerous. We all start there, but it’s not an endless excuse!
The Ignorance challenge is one of the easiest challenges to overcome. So, tackle it head-on! My course, Get Ready! Baby is coming! empowers parents to overcome ignorance.
I haven’t started my parenting journey with all the knowledge I have today and in the process, I made huge mistakes (things I would love to spare you)! You don’t have to do the same.
4. BE A ROLE MODEL WORTH FOLLOWING
Monkey see Monkey do, the saying goes. The problem is that many parents don’t live lives worth following, leaving behind confused kids.
You — the parents — are the most important role models your kids will follow! Acknowledge your responsibility to become an effective, courageous role-model parent worth following.
You might have heard: Do what I say, don’t do what I do. If so, you might know very well that it didn’t work. Kids follow their parents’ examples.
5. START LEARNING THE ABCs OF PARENTING
Kids become vulnerable when parents don’t meet their basic emotional needs. They don’t care how much their parents know. They want to know how much you care.
To make them feel loved and valuable, learn to love and accept yourself first. Then you’ll be able to show them unconditional love and acceptance too.
To love conditionally, will sound something like: Mommy loves you WHEN … Daddy loves you IF … Unconditional love says, I love you, regardless …
6. CONSULT THE HANDBOOK REGULARLY
Raising kids without consulting The Handbook usually leads to catastrophe. God gave us a handbook — The Bible — to guide us.
Learn how God sees your kids, and how He feels about them! Discover His precious plans for their lives and then raise them accordingly.
As an example, we read in Psalms 139 that He has embroidered us with various colours. When you get to know the “colours” of your kids, you will learn to love and appreciate their uniqueness.
7. GET RID OF THE SKELETON IN YOUR CUPBOARD
Broken parents raise broken kids who will grow up, marry, and do the same. None of us was lucky enough to escape the reality of emotional brokenness.
You can break the generational-brokenness cycle. Deal with your emotional baggage as soon as possible. When your heart is healed you can raise emotionally healthy kids.
You might be suffering because of the way your parents raised you but you can change things around. Your parents might not have been fortunate enough to deal with their pain. You are!
BACK TO THE FUTURE
It is up to you to shape your future.
Nobody can force you to repeat your parents’ mistakes and hurt your kids.
Today you found a brand-new roadmap to follow.
Imagine being at your funeral reception as a total stranger … How would it make you feel hearing your kids tell bystanders what an awesome role model you used to be?
Or, imagine hearing them brag about the way you always loved and accepted them, even at their worst behaviour! They tell with amazement how you managed to always make them feel like Superman and Super-woman!
And then, imagine standing before God as He stretches out His hand towards you. Then He smiles brightly, and congratulates you for taking such good care of the kids He had entrusted to you!
Isn’t that what we all want to hear?
It is within your reach, you know! You can get ready for the most remarkable journey of your life right now. You can choose to do parenting differently and change your future generations. You can choose to raise happy kids who will love and adore you forever!
The most beautiful news? You’ve got what it takes to be an amazing parent who raises emotionally healthy kids.
So, what are you waiting for?
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You can check out the following 2 resources that will guide you on your journey to become a courageous parent and raise emotionally healthy kids:
1) For my Online Course, click HERE
Until next time, happy parenting!
Love
Stef Espag
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