YOUR KID IS NOT DUMB

9 Hidden Areas of Potential Brilliance

You are so proud of your kids! There is no doubt that Numbers 1 and 2 are the smartest and most athletic children in your family, just like their parents.

But Number 3 … Oh my!

The difference between him and them is like the difference between day and night!

No interest in playing ball, no interest in reading or writing, no interest in learning songs and rhymes. Sits around all day playing by himself!

It seems that the more you try to include Number 3 in the games and activities Number 1 and 2 love, the more he withdraws.

Weird…

Not to mention the embarrassing remarks from family members.

It worries you. The question is, how did you — an intelligent woman, married to an intelligent man — manage to create a child that is… well, … dumb?

Taking Number 3 to a psychiatrist is a definite option right now.

Or … perhaps he was exchanged in the hospital at birth? You can’t bear the thought of your brilliant child happily playing in a stranger’s home.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could get a DNA test done on him?

It gives you the shivers just to think about how much special education costs!

Please stop!

What if your child is even more intelligent than you and your spouse combined?

What do you mean?

I mean exactly what I say. Your kid is not dumb! He is a unique individual. It’s time for you to uncover the secret hiding place of his brilliance!

I would like you to stay with me. The inner genius of Number 3 is waiting for you behind that golden lock. I’ll give you the key.

First, a little groundwork:

WHAT MAKES YOUR KIDS THE WAY THEY ARE?

Recently, I read a letter written by a concerned mother. Soon after learning she was pregnant, she began doing everything in her power to ensure her child would be a brilliant one. Three years later, she cries, since her dream seems scattered! In her opinion, he is far from brilliant.

Here’s a question for you: who made your kids?

Your husband and you?

No!

God has. Before time even began.

Every single one of your children has been tailored to fit into God’s perfect plan for their lives before you’ve even considered having kids.

Every aspect of their looks, colour, length, aptitudes, temperaments, and intelligence types was carefully designed by him. He then placed them in the country, culture, and city that He had determined when He envisioned their purpose and planned it.

It’s not about your plans and dreams for them.

His.

My favourite Psalm 139.15–16 states the following in The Passion Translation:

You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place; carefully you shaped me from nothing to something. You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d even seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book.

Each of your children was hand-crafted according to God’s plan.

When was the last time you created something from scratch? Perhaps you painted a picture, planted a garden, or maybe you decorated your room or house. Can you recall how you planned it before you began? Your choices of colours, where you wanted to place things, and even what specific items you wanted were all up to you.

The reason? That’s how you wanted it.

In planning each of us, God followed the same procedure, first in His heart and then within our mothers’ bodies. God created your children exactly as He intended.

The same was true for you…

ACTION PLAN:

When God created you or your kids, He didn’t follow a “cookie-cutter approach.” Each of you is unique, special, and one of a kind.

As well as number 3.

Embrace it.

Thank God for giving you such a precious and unique child.

WHAT IS INTELLIGENCE

Historically, children were labelled clever or dumb based on their language and mathematics abilities. However, intelligence extends far beyond speaking and counting well! It is estimated that there are at least 9 types of intelligence in each person!

Children in the same family with the same mother and father can differ like day and night, making it complicated.

In many cases, people feel rejected or condemned because they cannot “measure up”, or because they think they are less intelligent or acceptable than their siblings.

The question is, what is intelligence, or what identifies a person as either clever or stupid? Dr Howard Gardner describes intelligence as follows:

1) …the ability to create an effective product or offer a service that is valued in a culture

2) …a set of skills that make it possible for a person to solve problems in life

3) …the potential for finding or creating solutions for problems, which involves gathering new knowledge.

There is no doubt that language and mathematics do not solve all people’s problems in everyday life. Farmers don’t need musical skills, musicians don’t need social skills.

All of your kids have been blessed with special skills and abilities (aka intelligence) for creating products, solving problems, and developing new knowledge.

Those 9 areas of brilliance lie hidden inside your kid, just waiting to be discovered and developed.

ACTION PLAN:

Identify, develop, and celebrate the hidden areas of brilliance inside your children.

Here’s a quick guide to identifying them:

INTELLIGENCE TYPES

1) Bodily or Kinaesthetic Intelligence — In short, these kids (and adults) have good physical skills, dance talent, and acting ability.

Using their bodies as a means of expression is something they love to do. 

• It relates to mind-body or eye-hand coordination. It is easy for them to control their body movements, balance themselves, and handle objects very skillfully.

• It also affects the way they learn. Moving around helps them concentrate and memorize facts.

• That means your super-star ball kicker is actually very intelligent (aka clever)! So what if his language or math skills aren’t good? Do you know how much money sports stars make? Who knows, that might be your kid one day.

2) Existential Intelligence — In brief, they are philosophical or big-picture thinkers.

• Often they ponder deep questions about life, such as why people die and what life is all about.

• Their focus is on their purpose rather than daily anxieties and disagreements. It is possible for them to plan ahead, visualize the big picture, see the future, and guide others in that direction.

• Their willingness to ask the hard questions in life and to take risks makes others shudder. Therefore, you should be very patient when they bombard you with “but why?” Your kid isn’t annoying; he’s actually very clever.

3) Interpersonal or Social Intelligence — Basically, it refers to the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.

• They are very good at making friends. Talkative kids function in an important area of intelligence. Getting along with others isn’t easy for everyone.

• They are able to understand and relate to other people’s moods, motivations, and desires easily. Their ability to interact with others and to see things from another person’s perspective makes them empathetic and cooperative.

• They are also good communicators. Life leaders do not always need math skills, or artistic skills, because what matters most is their ability to relate to others.

4) Intra-personal Intelligence — in short: it is the capacity to explore one’s inner world and feelings.

• They know themselves very well. This type of intelligence is called the ability to think about and understand one’s self, and to be tuned in with your own inner feelings, values, beliefs, and thinking processes. As such, they can focus and plan their life.

• Because they don’t have problems playing alone and are actually their own best friend, they are often labelled as introverts. Regardless, they tend to be good listeners.

• They like to express their feelings and thoughts in creative ways such as through writing or music. So, your alone child isn’t necessarily shy, or has low self-esteem, but is very good at thought and analysis.

5) Logical or Mathematical Intelligence — They are conceptual and abstract thinkers.

• The ability to discern logical or numerical patterns is one of their strengths. They eat mathematics for breakfast! Mathematical and logical calculations, as well as reasoning skills, come naturally to them.

• Facts and data interest them. It is easy for them to analyze situations and problems logically, identify solutions, and perform scientific research.

• Despite appearing confused, their minds work like computers. Their ability to understand numbers, patterns, and their relationships, as well as organize and classify information, put them in a different league. Do not be afraid to include them in your next Chess or strategic game challenge! They might win!

6) Musical Intelligence — Simply put, they can sing, play instruments, compose music, and even study for a test while listening to music!

• Their lives revolve around music. In their minds, sounds, rhythms, melodies, and rhymes are everything.

• Without any training, they can play a musical instrument, and can even make music “by ear” using either their voice or an instrument.

• They have a deep understanding of musical structure and notes and are skilled at performing, composing, and appreciating the patterns of music.

7) Naturalist Intelligence — Their favourite activity is to be out in nature, interact with animals, and work with plants.

• The natural world of plants and animals is of great interest to them, as are scientific studies.

• In addition, they enjoy observing and examining living organisms and nature.

• It is common for them to be interested in archaeology, mountaineering, tracking, botany and geology.

8) Verbal or Linguistic Intelligence — Shortly, they have good reading, listening, speaking, and writing skills. Neither spoken nor written language is a problem for them.

• Their verbal skills are well-developed and they think in words. In addition, they are sensitive to the sounds, meanings, and rhythms of words. Learning a new language is easy for them.

• In addition to being good readers and speakers, they can also write poems, stories, books, or letters.

• Does your kid talk just like an adult? This is because they function in this type of intelligence.

9) Visual or Spatial Intelligence — Simply put, they are visual thinkers.

• Their imaginations are vivid, and they often come up with unusual or unexpected solutions to problems.

• Their ability to think in three dimensions makes them skilled puzzle builders, painters, and artists. Drawing, painting, and visual arts are also among their favourite activities.

• Their focus is on the large picture or the whole idea. Shapes, patterns, and colours may be their strong suits. They can design, construct, and fix objects. The next time they try to open your TV remote, remember they might just be exercising their dominant intelligence type.

ACTION PLAN:

All types of intelligence are built into your kids, but not in the same proportion. Unique combinations of intelligence types make each of them special and unique!

Your kid should be taught early how to identify, understand, develop, and celebrate their unique intelligence types.

When my kids were young, I used to tell them that they were like fish. The one is a sea-fish, and the other is a freshwater fish. In my heart, each fish had its own special place, regardless of what kind it was.

DO’S AND DON’T’S

Imagine trying to force a square block into a circle. While you may succeed after a while, it will never be a perfect fit.

Your kids are no different.

Being forced to become something that they were never created to be, because you don’t understand their unique intellectual wiring, is a very painful experience for them.

THINGS TO AVOID

• Don’t focus on the weak areas and try to strengthen them. Instead, encourage your kids to achieve their personal best in those areas in which they are naturally strong.

• Don’t label your kids dumb, stupid, unable, or anything else you can think of. Words carry power, and whatever you speak over them will shape their lives as a result.

• Make sure you don’t compare them to others. The question “why aren’t you like this person or that person” should never be asked. That’s cruel. Kids often compare themselves with each other. Thus, they may not always appreciate the differences they have, especially those that others may find annoying or irritating. Eventually, they believe they’re not good enough, don’t measure up, or they’re somehow flawed.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD

• Accept and appreciate each of your kids the way God has made them.

• Assure them that they are perfect just the way they are.

• Brag about them often (where they can hear you)

• Celebrate with them their uniqueness and individual brain capacities and communicate that they are special and loved.

• Discourage them from trying to be like others, or trying to impress others.

• Give them the support and encouragement they need to accept, love, and appreciate themselves.

• Stand up for them when no one else will.

• Stay with them until the end

* * *

You see? Your kid isn’t stupid, I told you. He is unique.

The secret hiding place of his brilliance has been revealed!

I’m sure you had your share of worries about your lonely child! Now you can lay it down.

Now is the time to abandon all the frustration of trying to mould him into Number 1 and Number 2’s “moulds.”

Embarrassing remarks from others no longer define your future happiness or that of your precious Number 3.

It’s now clear to you that your kid is uniquely created by God and that there is nothing else like him or her. You can now accept and celebrate his uniqueness with courage.

I promised you the golden key to unlock his hidden genius.

So here it is:

• Make time for your child.

• Check out what he enjoys doing.

• Take the time to ask questions and get to know him well.

• Discover how his little brain is wired with intelligence colours and learn to appreciate, admire, and celebrate his uniqueness.

• Make sure he does the same.

• Focus on what comes naturally and develop those abilities.

• Your little one is going to have an amazing future thanks to God!

Isn’t that a relief?

You no longer have to worry about special education, the cost of psychiatric care, or even how to find your “missing” brilliant child! :)

Your kid is destined for greatness.

And so are you.

Until next time, happy parenting!

Love,

STEF ESPAG

* * *

PS — Learning is an ongoing process. I have written a book (How courageous parents raise emotionally healthy kids) that will guide you through the process. You can check it out at THIS LINK.

PSS — I have also developed an online course (Get Ready! Baby is coming!) for new and young parents to guide them on the most exciting, yet exhausting experience of their life! You can check it out HERE

PSSS — If you found this article helpful, please be so kind as to subscribe, comment, and share it on your social media too! That way more people will be able to hear the truth that will set them free to live a life of victory!

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