HOW TO BULLY-PROOF YOUR KIDS

LEARN TO USE THE POWER OF "THE MAGIC MIRROR"

You look at your little ones and your heart melts! They are sooooo cute!

And they are growing up so fast!

The fact that they’ll soon face the bad part of life and will have to deal with bullies drives you crazy. You absolutely hate the thought!

Because you’ve been there …

The ice-cold fear still grips your heart when you think of those dreadful years at school filled with humiliation, shame, anxiety, depression, and frustration.

You will do everything you can to spare your kids from going through that hell.

If you only knew how…

Breathe!

You already have the most powerful secret weapon in the world to protect your kids.

I call it the “magic mirror”.

THE POWER OF “THE MAGIC MIRROR”

It all began with a little girl named Snow White who lived long, long ago in a faraway country. As you probably know, she had a horrible stepmother. Whenever Stepmother visited her magic mirror, it confirmed that she, Stepmother, was still the fairest of all. That made her feel really good about life!

Until that dreadful day …

It was as if her magic mirror changed overnight! Someone else suddenly appeared fairer than she was! And who else, but … Snow White!

In a moment Stepmother was transformed into one of the meanest bullies Long-long-ago-and-far-far-away has ever had. Being rejected by her trusted mirror, jealousy and fear fueled her murderous thoughts!

Snow White had to pay the price!

And so forth.

* * *

Today you’re going to learn a very powerful lesson from this fantasy. One that could help you bully-proof your kids.

Don’t you think that life would be a much better place without bullies?

I agree.

But have you ever wondered why we are plagued with these creatures? Let me try and explain:

HOW BULLIES ARE CREATED

Kids become bullies as a result of painful life experiences.

They’re not born that way. They were made that way.

THESE ARE SOME OF THE FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO THE CREATION OF BULLIES

• Carrying emotional pain in their hearts

• Following the example of abusive parents

• In reaction to being bullied themselves

• It makes them feel strong

• It serves as a disguise for their own weakness

• Struggling with low self-esteem

• They do it for entertainment

• They don’t know how to make friends

• They get attention, even though it might be negative attention

• They need approval and acceptance

•  They need to be in control

In the end, it comes down to their perception and feelings of themselves.

Plenty of these are the exact reasons why kids become victims of bullying. You’ll be wise to know the red flags ahead of time.

SOME RED FLAGS THAT YOUR KID COULD BECOME A VICTIM OF BULLYING

• Being overprotected by parents

• Carrying emotional scars and pain in their hearts

• Being raised by abusive, distant, or “absent” parents

• Being bullied by siblings

• Struggling with low self-esteem

• They don’t know how to make friends

• They need approval and acceptance

So, how can you protect your little ones from becoming victims?

This is where your magic mirror enters the scene.

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL …

Stepmother used to run to her magic mirror for comfort whenever she felt vulnerable, lonely, rejected, or sad.

You are that magic mirror for your kids.

This truth is confirmed in 2 Corinthians 3:18 (The Passion Translation)

“… And with no veil we all become like mirrors who brightly reflect the glory of the Lord Jesus …”

If Jesus was to be their daily mirror, what would He have reflected on them?

Yes! Glory! Now you have the privilege to do the same!

* * *

Children are so innocent and ignorant!

• Infants are born without a sense of self.

• They don’t know who they are — they need to discover that.

• They don’t know whether they are worthy, lovable, fine, or acceptable — they need to discover that too.

• And the only way to uncover all these secrets is to look in the only mirror they know … YOU.

In your role as their magic mirror, you have the power to make or break them.

They look at you to find out how they should feel about themselves. They look at you to define themselves and to build their own identity. They look at you to find out whether they are OK or not!

As their mirror, every word, facial expression, and form of body language speaks very loudly to them. Even the things you don’t do or say tell them so much about themselves!

HOW CLEAR IS YOUR MIRROR?

To be a clear mirror, you need to take care of yourself first.

Make sure you live what you try to teach your kids. For example, saying, Do what I say, don’t do what I do, brings so much confusion into their hearts.

The crucial element to raising emotionally healthy kids is to be aware of how you live. Your way of living … the way you behave … your attitude towards mistakes … assuming responsibility for your life … shows them what to do.

If your kids follow your example, will they be able to live a life of victory?

They will be able to if you show them this kind of life every day and become their role model. By being a strong role model for them, you will also be their clear mirror of encouragement and comfort.

Secondly, you can help your kids understand who they really are, what they’re capable of, and how they should feel about themselves.

* * *

Mirrors are very powerful objects in every home! They help us see who we are. They often determine how we feel about ourselves. They can build or destroy our confidence.

You are the mirror for your kids.

Every day you convey secret messages about their worth, abilities, looks, and so on to them. Those messages can either boost their self-esteem or break them down, leaving them vulnerable to bullying.

REFLECT THESE POWERFUL MESSAGES ON THEM CONSTANTLY:

#1. YOU ARE WORTHY AND VALUABLE, AND I APPRECIATE EVERY LITTLE PART OF YOU!

Every child is a handmade creation, formed and shaped by the Master Creator. There is no greater proof of their worth than this!

In Psalm 130.13 & 15 we read the following:

For you did form my inward parts, You did knit me together in my mother’s womb. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being formed in secret and intricately and curiously wrought (as if embroidered with various colors) in the depths of the earth …” (Amplified Bible)

Your kids existed in God’s heart even before the creation of this world.

They were born because He had a very specific purpose for having them here. God has a perfect dream for each of them:

Jeremiah 29.11 explains:

I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for” (Good News Bible)

Your kids don’t know these things by themselves.

You have the privilege and responsibility to inform them about, and then constantly reflect these truths back to them. They have the power to change their lives and heal their hearts.

#2. THE REAL YOU IS MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR!

Your kids are more than their outward appearance, their intellectual capacities, their athletic abilities, and their skills and talents.

They have something to offer the world!

Your magic mirror should reflect that back to them whenever they are with you.

Their true identity lies in the fact that they are grace gifts and blessings from God’s hand and heart. Psalm 127.3 says:

Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a real blessing (Good News Translation).

They were created in the image of God, and God loves them.

No one He made was inferior or broken in the beginning.

They are all crowned with glory and honour. They were made to be kings and priests of our God. They were made to be co-workers with God. It is true, your little ones have been entrusted with the responsibility of ruling over His creation.

Psalm 8.3–6 states:

When I look at the sky, which you have made, at the moon and the stars, which you set in their places — what are human beings that you think of them; mere mortals, that you care for them? Yet you made them inferior only to yourself; you crowned them with glory and honour. You appointed them rulers over everything you made; you placed them over all creation … (Good News Bible)

Constantly reflect these powerful truths back to them!

#3. YOU CAN DO IT!

Life is not easy for kids.

They are facing change, problems, and challenges all the time without really knowing how to deal with them. In general, they feel bad about themselves and about life when they fail to meet their challenges and solve their problems. They also feel inferior and uncertain and tend to feel like they aren’t good enough.

Some of the general struggles they face are:

• EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS. When they’re unable to deal with their feelings of anger, sadness, frustration, or helplessness, they can become more irritated, behave out of character, and even feel inadequate at standing up to bullies.

• SOCIAL OR RELATIONAL PROBLEMS. Lacking social skills such as getting along with others, knowing how to introduce themselves to others, how to handle peer pressure, or being accepted by others, they might turn their feelings either inside, or outside. Turning it inward often leads to withdrawal from others, a feeling of helplessness and sadness, and excessive shyness. When they turn it outside, they may attempt to compensate by bullying others.

• FUNCTIONAL PROBLEMS. It happens when children aren’t able to meet their responsibilities at home, at school, in sports, or anywhere else. When they don’t feel capable, they start comparing themselves to others and fall far behind on the ladder of success.

You can teach your kids how to deal with problems by being a role model they can follow. Apply problem-solving techniques that work, and teach them to your kids. Keep reminding them how capable they are. Be a clear mirror that reflects their capability back to them.

#4. LET’S TALK!

Listening to your children talk about everyday things will prepare them for discussing more important subjects with you in the future.

Kids often find it difficult to talk about their feelings. Especially if it makes them feel bad, sad, fearful, or ashamed. You’ll be wise to give them the opportunity to express their feelings without looking shocked or disappointed by what they say.

It may seem like a bad idea to share your own mistakes, weaknesses, disappointments, and fears with your kids, but it actually opens the door to greater understanding, trust, and even courage on their part to share their little (or big!) secrets in the future.

Teach them how to respond to bullying situations in advance and encourage them to talk to you in the event that they are bullied.

Please remember that the most important part of “talking” is “listening”!

Listen to your kids! And make sure they know you love and care for them by listening to their words, emotions, and body language.

#5. I’M CARRYING YOU IN MY PRAYERS!

This might be one of the most powerful and comforting truths you’ll ever share with your kids: I am praying for you!

Please! Start praying for your kids even before they are ever exposed to situations where they might be bullied. Even better, starting right after hearing the great news of your pregnancy is the best way to go!

As they begin to understand, don’t just pray FOR them, but also pray WITH them! Make sure they know that you pray constantly for them.

In addition, teach them how to pray — for themselves as well as for the bullies.

The Bible teaches us very clearly that:

“our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places” — Ephesians 6.12 (Amplified Bible).

How I wish I could guarantee that these points will fully bully-proof your kids. Unfortunately, I cannot make that promise to you.

However, I believe that elevating your child’s self-esteem, teaching them specific life skills, opening up communication lines, and praying for them will turn them into strong and capable little warriors who can fight their battles in life.

WHAT IF …

How would your life have been better or different if your parents followed this strategy? I’ve heard from so many people that their parents were totally unaware of their bullying struggles.

You can spare your kids those feelings of despair and helplessness.

There is no need for them to go through the turmoil you did.

It’s not something you want for them, is it?

NO!

SO, HERE’S THE ACTION PLAN:

• Pray for them on a daily basis

• Open up the communication channels and keep them open

• Model to them how to deal with problems

• Help them discover and love the “Real Me”

• Constantly remind them of their value and worth, as well as your constant love and care for them.

This way their life is going to be much better than what you’ve experienced as a kid.

They will become confident little warriors with healthy self-esteem, who’ll be able to stand up against bullies.

They will know and appreciate their worth and value, and therefore not give in to the threats of bullies.

They will be able to talk to you when life gets tough.

They will know how to deal with problems (aka bullies).

They will know who they are! They will find their strength in the One who created them and loves them!

And they will be forever thankful that you’ve shown them the way!

Until next time, happy parenting!

Love,

Stef Espag

Remember, you are destined for greatness!

* * *

PS — Learning is an ongoing process. I have written a book (How courageous parents raise emotionally healthy kids) that will guide you through the process. You can check it out at THIS LINK.

PSS — I have also developed an online course (Get Ready! Baby is coming!) for new and young parents to guide them on the most exciting, yet exhausting experience of their life! You can check it out HERE

PSSS — If you found this article helpful, please be so kind as to subscribe, comment, and share it on your social media too! That way more people will be able to hear the truth that will set them free to live a life of victory!

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